Azi sunt Om

Where the hell is Matt?

2010-01-17T06:46:00.000-08:00

I hope you will enjoy this as much as I did.

Happy Birthday to ME...and you

2009-12-29T14:52:00.000-08:00

Wanna Grape?

2009-10-10T10:46:00.000-07:00

They say I crave for solitude

2009-09-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results

Warmth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Liveliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Social Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Sensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Abstractness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Introversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Independence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Tension	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%

Take Cattell 16 Factor Test (similar to 16pf)
personality tests by similarminds.com

Black

2009-08-26T03:35:00.001-07:00

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

Gunnar Madsen- "Anna"

2009-07-11T12:11:00.000-07:00

AZI NU SUNT OM

2009-05-12T05:27:00.001-07:00

Welcome back, Emily

2009-05-08T05:54:00.000-07:00

Sounds of non-silence

2009-05-08T03:05:00.000-07:00

Like I am the brightest bi-pe-di-ca-l (my own word- means walking on two legs-) humanoid form ever seen on this planet...

the non- me

With the help of the honey (and I am not talking about the honey made by bees, but about the Honey, my future-husband- he does not know this yet)

aren't I fortunate?!

I managed to add a music player on this blog page. Damn, I'm smart!

So, mortals, prepare yourselves:

Step1:
Get a Honey.

Step 2:
Ask him/her/it for directions

Step 3:
Go to this site.

Step 4:
Sign up (you know the drill: fill in email, password, gender -if you have one)

Step 5:
Create playlist. (activate the creative mode and add music to your liking and not mine, please people, I'm a registered brand) and for god sake, save it!

Step 6:
Get the code for blogger or any other form of www you need the player for.

Step 01010101:
Listen to the music selection I've made, on my blog. It's mandatory!
Otherwise

I are angry

Step 7:
Use that code.

Step 8 (and the most important):
Thank Elmer, God, Jim Carry, the stars, my mom and dad, the driver of the car that did not hit me last week, for knowing me and having "access to my dementia" (words of my favorite alive classic b-ip-ed-ic-a-l, the one and only, George Cant'stand'ya Constanzzzza).

Mirrors of the Self

2009-02-19T06:05:00.000-08:00

Who are you? Who am I?

Who among ourselves has never asked these questions? Yeah yeah...please don't start that philosophical/psychological crap on me. I know it; these question are a big part of our development process and yada yada yada. (leave all hope here in understanding yada yada, he who has never seen Seinfeld).

The following situations from the real life made me wonder upon the questions above:

Fact of life #1:
Person A hears that Person B has studied Psychology. Without any warning, person A drops on Person B the request for a medical examination. Person B realizes that Person A is confusing psychology with psychiatry and explains Person A that Psychology has nothing to do with medical examination, medications and so on, further more, Person B is not accredited in doing physical exams. Person A says "It doesn't matter. I'll even pay you to give me a medical examination. When can I come to your office?"

Fact of life #2:
Person 1's expectations towards Person 2's abilities include: mind reading, hypnosis and a wide range of psychological tricks. Person 1 thinks that if Person 2 has a certain educational background then Person 2 is trained in all the mention above and Person 2 is not sharing/teaching all these because is a selfish human. It doesn't matter how often Person 2 is being open in regards to his skills, Person 1 is offended.

Fact of life #3:
Friend A has a emotional turmoil. Friend A summons Friend B to discuss the issues. Friend B is required to offer comfort, emotional support. It doesn't matter that Friend B has other issues on his mind at this moment, he has to give the required support , otherwise friendship is over.

Fact of life #4:
Individual 1 is having a new job. Individual 1 is in a brand new office with brand new colleagues. Individual 1 thinks of himself as a sociable, reliable person; others have confirmed his opinion and now he's really puzzled when for 2 weeks the brand new colleagues are reacting to his presence with silence and social rejection. It doesn't matter how Individual 1 really is, the group is perceiving him as someone unapproachable and the boss's pet.

Every fact of life presented have more things in common, but let's draw the line and add:

It doesn't matter who you are. I will always perceive you the way I want, the way I need. In fact, I don't even care how you really are. All I am interested in is Me, my needs and how you can help me obtain and fulfill my goals. I am not interested in you, if I need you to comfort me now, you must comfort me, if I need a medical exam from you, you must give it to me.

Considering all these, the question "Who are you?" has a simple answer "Mirrors of myself."

Beside the obvious down-side of this (that we are blind to great opportunities of expanding our flow of conscience), the major jeopardy I can detect is: We are trapped in a role-play, a show directed by the Mighty SELF, a show in which we think we are masters, but in fact we are the mice; a show of reflections in the mirrors, a game of hide and seek with the self, a place in which we loose the sense of love and we replace it with attachment, where we forget that everything is ONE and we believe that Separatism is the answer. We end up believing in soap bubbles and mirror reflections.

Who am I? I am a self playing hide and seek with myself.

I would rather ask, who are we?

We are love and laughter.

How to fake taking a shower

2009-02-03T06:44:00.000-08:00

Well, I was surfing the internet for ways of dealing with rejection, you know, that thing that normally hurts your ego so bad, and I found this, a how to web-site.

This was the best therapy I could ever get... I am not rebounding or whatever, I did remember that people are free to take their own paths and not mine all the time (still, I am the same self-absorbed ego I was before).

No " get over it sweetheart", and all that bullshit did it for me, but this "How to" manual with articles such as this one: How to fake a shower.

So, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you need to fake a shower(?!?!???), then:

Start the shower and wait a few moments (this is the time where you would take off your garments).
If possible, splash the water around in the shower to make it look like you were walking in it.
Get dressed in your fresh clothes.
Use water from either
- The shower
- A sink
Toss water somewhere near the shower to make it appear like you've got out when you're 'done' taking the shower.
Do the same with a towel, except sprinkle water onto various parts of the towel.
Wait a few more minutes (count how long you usually stay in the shower) before turning off the shower.
Take this moment to rub water over the visible parts of your skin. It'd be more convincing if you added a little water to the areas around your skin as well.
Dampen your clothes a tiny bit; not too much or it'll be a suspicious sight.

Now really, can someone did encounter a situation where they had to fake a shower? and if you had to fake it, why not just take that damn shower, the time is the same, the effort is the same?!

And another good one was "How to see "Dial" from inside the bar of soap". Wow!
"When you start a new bar of Dial soap you might ask yourself "What would the 'Dial' look like from the inside of the bar?" You might think that you could just hold the soap in front of a mirror but then you realize that you're still looking at the outside of the soap and it's just reversed.
Here you learn how to see the 'Dial' from the inside."

Yes, this is a skill I need to master.

My only thought now is "How to write a " How to "Thank you Wiki-How" "article". Maybe I will come up with something.

Azi sunt OM

2009-01-26T23:23:00.000-08:00

It is a new year in everyone's life, and this is a brand new year for me, a year in which I feel I have grown, with many changes in my hobbies, interests and even priorities. I really was not an adult, preoccupied with the economical, political, social context of the society I was and still living in. I've used a label for this: "disappointing" and never bothered to dig any further. There were few examples that managed to reach me and they were just adding to the "disappointing" image I already have. I was someone, who ignored everything, just being selfish in MY world.

Lately, I've got to the point, that every minor or major change in our society is concerning me. So, here I am, trying to make a sense of everything, try to form an opinion.

At first, I had feelings of disgust towards economical, social, political systems in which a man could actually die in a hospital, carried back and forth from one hospital to another because the hospital staff needed to follow their procedures on papers. The man died after calling the ambulance and no doctor would attend him because his papers were not ready. Come on!!!! Really, COME ON!!!
I agree with the procedure of making papers, following the rules but the MAN DIED waiting to be cared and helped by doctors. Some would argue with me, that this actual case happened because and because, but my personal opinion is: It is UNACCEPTABLE that a man could die in a HOSPITAL (for God' sake) because the doctors were waiting for the Insurance papers before doing anything!!! At least, they could have given him some first aid measures; but no, the ambulance staff were waiting with the patient for hours and in the end the man's heart collapsed, leading to his death.

The values of our society are: "money I have" "people envy me" "women love me" "I am wearing Dolce" and so on. Some may say, Welcome to the real world, MySecret! This happens everywhere, not just Romania (for some, Romania can still be found in Canada, right above the upper east side of the south corner).

And then I think. OK, so I guess, there must me a large number of people who are following and identify with these values (the number of wanna-be is growing) and there is also a large number of humans who feel disappointed, outraged, helpless towards this.
I wonder, is there a time, in our evolution as a HUMAN SOCIETY, where we can say that something was in the right place??? Really, is there? Can someone please tell me, because I've lost hope.

I was used to think that humans, in their hearts are good, that society by all is good, that the Romanian society is just going through a rough period, after the fall of Ceausescu.

But not anymore!!!

We are who we are because we deserved it; we are where we are because we are selfish in nature, because we don't care for anyone else but ourselves, because we learned this behavior from our parents, who learned from their parents, who learned from their fathers and so on.

There is no "Every human being is good by nature" or "I believe in the best of people". All the religious, humanistic, psychological approach is just a BIG bullshit, bullshit meant to ease our conscience, bullshit meant to make us feel better. The truth is WE ARE SELFISH AS A INDIVIDUAL, WE ARE SELFISH AS A SOCIETY.

So, in my heart, there is no longer disappointment, because there was never a good side of we, the humans, there is no longer disgust, or outraged feelings. I just wish I was a martian, or even better, a snail...See, I am hopeless, I am so human even in my wishes of not being human...therefore I say, Azi Sunt OM, but I've lost my hope.

SGA

2009-01-18T08:10:00.001-08:00

Listen and Watch

2008-12-30T12:25:00.000-08:00

My dear reader,

Yesterday I came across a book, a big book about "1001 Albums to Listen in a Lifetime". It was a really small step from that point to my "new born baby".

I am driven by music, by images and by feelings. After all, today I am a human being. What better way to share my most precious treasures than to give a little glimpse of what I love?!

So, it is my greatest pleasure to introduce to you Listen and Watch, my newest project.

Disclaimer: I don't pretend that my music selection will be the best, or that you'll even like it but I just want to share a big part of my heart, as boring or wild as it may be. Azi sunt Om and Listen and Watch are just mirrors of me, my personality, and if someone will find it pointless then my invitation is: Use the X button, that you'll find on the right side of your browser.

Have a Happy New Year!
only wonderful things in 2009

Peter Gabriel

2008-12-28T12:31:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've realize that I like Peter Gabriel. When I first heard his songs, a long long time ago, I decided instantly "I hate Peter Gabriel".
But with meeting Bill, just Bill (the artist formerly known as Arik Sturgis) who introduced me Peter Gabriel "I grieve" I've changed my mind a little then.
Today, listening to "Don't give up" I made up my mind to dig a little more deeper. That is why, herewith, I, Abcd Efgh, declare myself to be a Peter Gabriel fan.

Exhibit no. 1:

"In Your Eyes"

love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes

love, I don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
the heat I see in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes

Exhibit no.2:

"Shaking the trees"

Souma yergon, sou nou yergon, we are shakin the tree
Souma yergon, sou nou yergon, we are shakin the tree

Waiting your time, dreaming of a better life
Waiting your time, youre more than just a wife
You dont want to do what your mother has done
She has done
This is your life, this new life has begun
Its your day - a womans day
Its your day - a womans day

Turning the tide, you are on the incoming wave
Turning the tide, you know you are nobodys slave
[ 1989 version - find your brothers and sisters ]
[ 1990 version - find your sisters and brothers ]
Who can hear all the truth in what you say
They can support you when youre on your way
Its your day - a womans day
Its your day - a womans day

Souma yergon, sou nou yergon, we are shakin the tree
Souma yergon, sou nou yergon, we are shakin the tree
Souma yergon, sou nou yergon, we are shakin the tree

[ extra lyrics from 1989 12 remix ]

Theres nothing to gain when theres nothing to be lost
Theres nothing to gain if you stay behind and count the cost
Make the decision that you can be who you can be
You can be
Tasting the fruit come to the liberty tree
Its your day - a womans day
Its your day - a womans day

[ end of extra lyrics from 12 remix ]

Changing your ways, changing those surrounding you
Changing your ways, more than any man can do
Open your heart, show him the anger and pain, so you heal
Maybe hes looking for his womanly side, let him feel

You had to be so strong
And you do nothing wrong
Nothing wrong at all
Were gonna to break it down
We have to shake it down
Shake it all around

Souma yergon, sou nou yergon, we are shakin the tree
Souma yergon, sou nou yergon, we are shakin the tree
Souma yergon, sou nou yergon, we are shakin the tree

Exhibit no.3:

"Steam"
Stand back!
said stand back!

What are those dogs doing sniffing at my feet?
Theyre on to something, picking up
Picking up this heat, this heat

{chorus 1:}
Give me steam
And how you feel can make it real
Real as anything youve seen
Get a life with the dreamers dream

You know your culture from your trash
You know your plastic from your cash
When I lose sight of the track
You know the way back
But I know you

You know your stripper from your paint
You know your sinner from your saint
Whenever heavens doors are shut
You kick them open, but
I know you

{chorus 2:}
Give me steam
And how you feel can make it real
Real as any place youve been
Get a life with the dreamers dream

Stand back!
said stand back!
Cant you see Ive lost control? Im getting indiscreet
Youre moving in so close til Im picking up
Picking up this heat, this heat

[chorus 1]

You know your green from your red
You know the quick from the dead
So much better than the rest
You think youve been blessed
But I know you

You know your leather from your snake
You know the throttle from the brake
You know your straight line from a curve
Youve got a lot of nerve
But I know you

[chorus 2]

Everybody nosedive
Hold your breath, count to five
Backslap, boobytrap
Cover it up in bubblewrap
Room shake, earthquake
Find a way to stay awake
Its gonna blow, its gonna break
This is more than I can take

Oh yeah, I need steam
Feel the steam around me
Ah youre turning up the heat
When I start to dream aloud
til youre movin hands and feet
Wont you step into this cloud of steam
This steam

[chorus 1]

Help me yeah
Ready to steam out the log jam
Stir crazy from the freezer to the boil
Waters bubbling, its b..b..b..bubbling
Bubbling bubbling bubbling bubbling
Life is coming to the boil
Gimme steam, lady
Gimme the steam around me now
On a high, coming alive
said gimme some steam!

Don't Give Up

2008-12-28T06:08:00.000-08:00

Don't give up- Peter Gabriel

"In this proud land we grew up strong
We were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail

No fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
Ive changed my face, Ive changed my name
But no one wants you when you lose

Dont give up
cos you have friends
Dont give up
Youre not beaten yet
Dont give up
I know you can make it good

Though I saw it all around
Never thought I could be affected
Thought that wed be the last to go
It is so strange the way things turn

Drove the night toward my home
The place that I was born, on the lakeside
As daylight broke, I saw the earth
The trees had burned down to the ground

Dont give up
You still have us
Dont give up
We dont need much of anything
Dont give up
cause somewhere theres a place
Where we belong

Rest your head
You worry too much
Its going to be alright
When times get rough
You can fall back on us
Dont give up
Please dont give up

got to walk out of here
I cant take anymore
Going to stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That rivers flowing
That rivers flowing

Moved on to another town
Tried hard to settle down
For every job, so many men
So many men no-one needs

Dont give up
cause you have friends
Dont give up
Youre not the only one
Dont give up
No reason to be ashamed
Dont give up
You still have us
Dont give up now
Were proud of who you are
Dont give up
You know its never been easy
Dont give up
cause I believe theres the a place
Theres a place where we belong"

Google and key-words

2008-12-21T10:25:00.000-08:00

This post doesn't look to be in the same tone as my previous or my last posts. I know! It was just a lame marketing strategy I pulled just to assure myself the first two positions when google-ing "crezul optimistului". Just try it and see that Azi sunt Om has the first two positions when searching this two words.

It was really strange for me to see that I get visitors reffered by Google when they've searched this two key words: "crezul optimistului". So, I thought, let's put more of Christian D. Larson's work in here and hope I'll get more traffic.

I know, lame...but human, trying to get attention.

The same,
Abcd Efgh

Being Human

2008-12-21T09:24:00.000-08:00

Being human means you have to have a human body, you know, the usual: one head, one body, two arms, two legs and so on. Yeah, that one checked. I am human!

Being human you should be able of mental states like excitement, falling in love, despair, sadness and a wide range of feelings (feelings driven by hormones and psycho-social patterns). I can also check this one, therefore I am human!

Being human means you are a social creature, involved in social networks, with a social role to play.
I am a part of several social networks, but only for the sake of being social, I am not that much into "What you ate last night?" or "My husband is having a big pimple on his face". I play the part so I can say I'm a social being. If it were up to me, I would limit communications only to what is really interesting for me and the rest would be commuted to silence mode. Why does everyone feel the need to expose every single detail of their life, like I care?! I never do this! I consider my life to be my life.
Anyway, everyone has several roles to play, some do a spectacular job, others can go nominated for the worst acting ever. But never secondary role, always the MAIN role in everything: my life, my children, my wife, my career, my friends (please notice the my, mine, ME- every time, everything is something only in a relation with a ME).
I can check this one too, as I previous said I am ego-centric, sometimes social (despite my lack of interest in others life), I am human!

But if being human means to be interested in the trifling aspects of someone-you-don't-even know's life (like what celebrity no.2 had for breakfast this morning) or to waste time trying to get others attention by saying things like "I want to become a porn actress because I want to show my parents that I can do well in life" then I prefer if everyone will consider me a Martian (I can't say the real name of my home planet- security issues, I hope you understand!) , a non-human organic life form caught in the weird human societies nowadays.

Frightened to be here,
MySecret

In 23 days we'll be three

2008-12-21T06:28:00.000-08:00

Maybe you haven't been paying too much attention to the widgets on the right side of my blog, but if you have, you may have noticed that in 23 days I will have my blog twins.

Would they be two boys, or two girls, or one boy or girl?! Only the Almighty Internet God knows.

Actually, it doesn't matter that much, what is truly important that from that moment on, we will be three writing this blog (or not writing).

So, keep your fingers crossed because this is my first "virtual" pregnancy and until now it went just as normal as it would supposed to go.
And yes, to all the mommies out there, I did experienced morning sickness each time I found myself speechless in front of the computer, mood swings (to all the human beings out there who were puzzled of my constant changing nature, there is a reason behind this and it is not just "she is a woman" it's more: "She is a pregnant woman") and all kinds of aches and pains.

But, in 23 days, I will be a "we" and the "we"-part will write as soon as "we" learn again how to use letters, words and sentences.

I guess you will excuse me for now, my feet are killing me, I have to take my rest.

The soon-to-be-Internet-mommy
MySecret

also known as Abcd Efgh

Crezul optimistului

2008-12-20T10:59:00.000-08:00

"Imi promit mie insumi sa fiu puternic astfel incat nimic sa imi deranjeze pacea mintii

Imi promit mie insumi sa ii vorbesc numai despre sanatate, fericire si prosperitate fiecarei persoane pe care o intalnesc

Imi promit mie insumi sa imi fac prietenii sa simta ca exista ceva ce merita in ei

Imi promit mie insumi sa vad intotdeauna partea pozitiva a oricarui lucru si sa imi transform in realitate optimismul

Imi promit mie insumi sa ma gandesc numai la ce este mai bine, sa lucrez numai pentru cei mai buni si sa astept numai ce este mai bun

Imi promit mie insumi sa fiu la fel de entuziast de succesul altora precum sunt de succesul meu

Imi promit mie insumi sa uit greselile trecutului si sa ma concentrez pe marile realizari ale viitorului

Imi promit mie insumi sa am o expresie vesela tot timpul si sa impartasesc un zambet fiecarei fiinte vii pe care o intalnesc

Imi promit mie insumi sa imi acord asa de mult timp pentru auto-imbunatatire incat sa nu mai am timp sa ii critic pe altii

Imi promit mie insumi sa fiu mult prea mare pentru griji, prea nobil pentru ura, prea puternic pentru frica si prea fericit sa permit prezenta necazului

Imi promit mie insumi sa gandesc numai bine despre mine si sa declar acest lucru lumii intregi, nu in cuvinte mari ci in fapte

Imi promit mie insumi sa traiesc in credinta ca intreaga lume este de partea mea, atata timp cat fidel celor mai bune lucruri care sunt in mine"

Christian D. Larson

Imi promit mie insumi"

Dare

2008-12-07T13:20:00.000-08:00

You must know this short clip but I can't help myself not to post it here.

Dare!

Somewhere over the rainbow

2008-12-07T13:13:00.000-08:00

"Somewhere over the rainbow"

Ooooo oooooo ohoohohoo
Ooooo ohooohoo oooohoo
Ooooo ohoohooo oohoooo
Oohooo oohoooho ooooho
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Once in a lullaby ii ii iii
Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Dreams really do come true ooh ooooh
Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me ee ee eeh
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops thats where you'll find me oh
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
And the dream that you dare to,why, oh why can't I? i iiii

Well I see trees of green and
Red roses too,
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark and I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying, I...I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more
Than we'll know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world (w)oohoorld

Someday I'll wish upon a star,
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top that's where you'll find me
Oh, Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I? I hiii ?

Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo
Ooooo oooooo oooooo

Tribute to Ray La Montagne

2008-12-07T12:45:00.000-08:00

"Crazy"

I remember when
I remember, when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that face
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space

And when you’re out there
Without care
I was out of touch
It wasn’t because I didn’t know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Probably

An I hope that you are having the time of your life
Oh but think twice
That’s my only advice

Come on now
Who do you
Who do you think you are
Woah Woah
Bless your soul
Do you really think that you’re in control

Well I think you’re crazy
I think you’re crazy
I think you’re crazy
Just like me, yeah

My heroes had the heart
To lose their lives out on a limb
An all I remember
Is thinking I wanna be like them

Ever since I was little it looked like fun
It was no coincidence that I’ve come
I can die when I’m done

Maybe I’m crazy
Maybe you’re crazy
Maybe we’re crazy
Probably

A la la la la la la
a la la, a la la, a la la, a la la
yeah, yeah, yeah
wo-ah, woah, woah, woah, woah
lay lay lay lay
a la la, a la la, a la la, a la la

Just listen

2008-11-02T05:55:00.000-08:00

Betty Boop- the final

2008-10-19T12:39:00.000-07:00

and this is my last editing on the video..please be gentle!

Betty Boop

2008-10-19T10:49:00.001-07:00

Here it goes...my first new clip of the precious Miss Betty Boop. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do:

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

2008-10-04T08:50:00.001-07:00

Moon River

2008-10-04T08:18:00.001-07:00

Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.

What's better than having one turtle?

2008-10-03T12:23:00.000-07:00

Anyone..Does anyone knows the answer?!

Since "Azi sunt Om" is a short glimpse in my reality, then the answer to this question is.....(everyone ready?!!!).....two turtles.

From now on, I am the proud keeper of two turtles. I had one for 3 years (I often laugh when I remember the Super Wonder Me I was back then, ready to save everything) and since this afternoon I have TWO.

Two years ago, I was looking for a friend for my turtle but every turtle that I have found was either too big, or too small. I abandoned the quest and doomed Turtle (Turtle is the name of my turtle- creative, right?!) to a lonely life, trapped in a aquarium, with a no-tail-two-feet-human-creature.

And today, life happened again. (Do you find it rather peculiar that LIFE is happening?! You don't make things happen; life has its own way to occur; the right person, at the right moment, in the right place- whatever...let's go back to Turtle).

As I was having a break with some of my colleagues and having a coffee (some of us and me especially), the manager of the local overheard me talking about me and Turtle. (You may think that Romanians tend to like "overhearing" stuff, but then again, you have never met me, in a social context, where I perform. I am on a stage and I have to have all the public's attention and that means loud voice, theatrical gestures, rhythm...oh! I have it all, except for a big break on a Broadway stage).

So..are you lost yet, dear reader?! The answer is TWO Turtles: Turtle 1 and Turtle 2.

Let's get back to the story, because everyone loves stories. So, I was performing "MySecret and Turtle- Gone with the fish" episode 3, when the managers comes to me and asks me if I have a turtle and if so, if I want a second one.

What is the probability for hearing a question like that on a grey Friday morning, when chatting about nothing??? (If I were to date Wikipedia 0.1.- some people have been really touched by this post- then I would have an answer) In my reality, the probability was none-what's-so-ever.

The manager was pretty excited that she had found someone to give the turtle too, I was happy that out of the blue, Turtle 2 found her way to me. So the business was made or Alea Iacta Est.
Turtle 2, formerly known as Kitty (what a name for a turtle, darn! some people are too creative, I say) joined Turtle 1 in one boring existence next to the no-tail-two-feet-human-being, the one you know as MySecret.

The End

R.I.P. Marduk

2008-09-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

He would've loved this song.

Rest in peace!

Numb

2008-09-26T11:34:00.000-07:00

"Numb"

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Words do come easy...Got the picture?!

2008-09-24T12:21:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday

2008-09-21T12:08:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen,

This is post #100 and should be celebrated appropriate.
Therefore, we invite you to our special 100 Posts Day (by we I mean: me, myself and "Azi sunt Om").

For now, it's just me and the cake

but, we're expecting more cake,
and cake...

cake

birthday cake

more cake

and ...yeah! cake

cake

and last but not least, cake

There's no need to show up with presents, someone already sent something special: (yeah, guys, I am talking about the balloons)

So, grab a pen, a comment, a star, and join our party.

Happy Birthday to me!

the egocentric being you already know as
MySecret aka Abcd Efgh

How to destroy the world

2008-09-21T08:01:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

Computer Games

Rubbish

Transport

The Heck does He know...

2008-09-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

Link

"Azi sunt Om" has a sound

2008-09-16T11:59:00.000-07:00

From now on, my baby, "Azi sunt Om" will sing, a different tune everyday.

So, prepare yourself and get that volume up and running because each day "Azi sunt Om" will whistle a different slice of my paradise.

the same as you already know me,
MySecret

GRAN CENTENNIAL

2008-09-14T11:42:00.000-07:00

coming up soon

Labels

2008-09-14T02:17:00.000-07:00

We humans do have a big brain but somehow we only use only a small part of it. In this way we end up thinking, acting, feeling, behaving according to some labels, pre-established in our minds, from our personal history, social background, culture we live in.

If we find people with the same labels then it is easy for us to communicate. No more thinking and analyzing; we have the label and the meaning is the same. We feel relaxed and happy that we found someone "compatible" with our labels.

What happens when we don't meet in our social interaction the labels we know, use and cherish?
I tell you what happens. Frustration.

The effects of frustration: anger, guilt, stress.

It could be so much easier for everyone if each one of us try, just for a minute, to think out of the labels we've got so used to.

Just for a minute, try to think that the world is bigger than just your great Ego and that maybe, only maybe, world, life and humans are much more than one single human being.

We are so different and yet so alike. We are different in the labels we use but the same in the way we use it and in claiming everyone in our reality to use the same labels as we and act accordingly to it.

It is hard to go beyond the labels you use for work, love, family, communication, life, death, everything. I know! It is hard to let go your egoistic claims on life, on everyone around you.

After all, the world wasn't created after yourself,the world is, with or without you. You are not the center of the entire universe, you are just a small, pretty small part of it. And that's it!

The Logical Song

2008-09-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily,
Joyfully, playfully, watching me.
But then they send me away to teach me how to be sensible,
Logical, responsible, practical.
And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable,
Clinical, intellectual, cynical.

There are times when all the world's asleep,
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man.
Wont you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who I am.

Now watch what you say or they'll be calling you a radical,
Liberal, fanatical, criminal.
Wont you sign up your name, we'd like to feel you're
Acceptable, respectable, presentable, a vegetable!

At night, when all the worlds asleep,
The questions run so deep
For such a simple man.
Wont you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who I am.

I heart NY

2008-09-10T08:51:00.001-07:00

Music with no meaning

2008-09-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, there was a Self who used to say that music is more than just sound, is more than just words, is more than this and that.
These words were one of my favorites. Not anymore.

I found out lately that I like more than just one genre of music, and the message of a song may or may not be. I am just like everyone else tuned to the radio and club music. (Or maybe this is the pink shallow side of me...I have to think more about this..or not, I let it be)

For example, take the song below. What meaning does this song have?
All I like is the tune and that is it. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't even listen to the lyrics. What lyrics?!

Heads up, I am just a typical, normal human being. Still, Azi sunt Om.

Why I heart www.youtube.com

2008-09-07T13:25:00.000-07:00

Someone hearts his I-Pod.
I heart youtube.

If you see this, you will understand.

Just informing why I heart youtube.com

Play "Pause" (2)

2008-09-06T13:23:00.000-07:00

and now you can actually see a FF mode of living or pretending to be alive in Cluj-Napoca

Play "Pause"

2008-09-05T08:59:00.000-07:00

Reading an article, I realized that I am not the only one whose life is on Fast-Forward. And some of you will recognize this FastForward mode in their life.

Let's see a typical day of my life, on FF.

Waking up one hour before leaving for work. In one hour I manage to do all the female morning rituals, but on FF. No breakfast, no coffee in the morning, just getting ready to leave for work.
After that I almost run to meet my coleague who's driving me to work. What do I feel? Nothing! What do I think besides work? Nothing!

I get to work and then I embark on the "montagne-rousse" called work. From that moment on I forget to say a simple "Hello" to my co-workers just because "I don't have time! I have so many things to do." I say "Hello!" and "How are you?" only when I have some task that involves that person, but besides this all I do is keeping my eyes on the computer making all kind of stupid reports and speaking constantly on the phone. Lunch break is a myth for me, I grab something while speaking on the phone and running from one office to another. What do I feel? Nothing! What do I think besides work? Nothing!

5 o'clock. Everyone leaves the office heading home or to their personal life. I am still in front of the computer, finishing different tasks. After a while, I get really tired and I turn off the computer and run home. It is 7 in the evening by now. What do I feel? Nothing!

I usually take a bus or a taxi, if I am in a real hurry , but I get home around 8 o'clock. No feelings, no thinking, no real social communication.

I get home, I am still in a hurry. I speak on the phone with my parents or my friends briefly, because I don't have time. I have to do this and this and that.

I eat quickly something and get ready for the next day at work. It is ten o'clock by now. I feel a little satisfied because I can check plenty of the task that I established for the day and then go to sleep.

What do I feel? Nothing!
What do I think? Nothing!

I am on a constant hurry. I can't talk, eat, sleep..I think I am always running out of time and I don't manage to do all I have to do. I even wrote on my daily agenda to say good-morning to my dear friend and I told her good-morning after checking later my agenda.

This is my Fast Forward Life Style.

So, I've been thinking. Since I currently live on a Fast Forward mode, then, logically, I can choose to play the "Pause" buton and stop for a minute or more to enjoy tastes, smells, images, sounds, people.

Yes, it doesn't sound that bad or hard to do. I will. I will play Pause from time to time to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, colours, friends, family, people I love and cherish. This is what trully matters in life. Everything else is just a big soap bubble.

Now "Pause!"

Looking for talents (2)

2008-08-28T00:10:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,

A few months ago, I made a commitment and I intend to keep it.

I was looking for talents and I still am.

So far, in this project, I managed to involve several people and I also have a surprise for "the artist formerly known as Arik Sturgis", now Bill, just Bill (Bond, James Bond).

So, time is clicking away and we are a few steps closer to the "Oy Oy" Project's Reveal.

Keep your fingers crossed and if you want to be a part of this adventure, just write. I am always looking for talents.

MySecret,
the artist formerly known as Abcd Efgh

I found out...Helloween

2008-08-26T11:20:00.000-07:00

Helloween In The Middle of a Heartbeat

Tell me, pretty girl, do you know who I am?
Have you ever seen me as your friend?
Anything we have is those hungry nights
But there's so much left unsatisfied
All those little things you told me
Ain't good enough to show me
That we're gonna make it through the time

I found out
In the middle of a heartbeat
And I know that I'm doin' right
Together we are still so far apart
I found out
In the middle of a heartbeat
And the more I try to be your light
I can't get any closer to your heart

Now that I'm afraid just to ask for more
I'm still waiting as I did before
If you only said that it's not too late
We could then rely upon our fate
All those little things you'd tell me
Could bear enough to show me
That we're gonna make it through the time

I found out
In the middle of a heartbeat
And I know that I'm tellin' right
Together we are still so far apart
I found out
In the middle of a heartbeat
And the more I try to be your light
I can't get any closer to your heart

I found out
I found out
I found out
In the middle of a heartbeat
And I know that I'm tellin' right
Together we are still so far apart
I found out
In the middle of a heartbeat
And the more I try to br your light
I can't get any closer to your heart

You're so obssesed with me

2008-08-24T05:41:00.000-07:00

I can laugh all day loooooooooooooooooong...

Enjoy!

The Portrait of...a Simple Gray Man

2008-08-23T12:32:00.000-07:00

It was a hot Friday evening and I couldn't resist the call of my friend so we went out to meet one Simple Gray Man.

The details aren't important, like why we met, where we met and what we did. The most important was that we were spectators to one man show.

As it was my first conversation with this guy, let's call him Dorian, I did expected and was ready for the we are so familiar with routine of: "How are you?" "What do you say about this hot weather?" "What do you do for a living?" and so on.

We barely sat down when Dorian adopted a theatrical posture and after one short pause, to grab our attention, he said:

"Life is simple, we are the ones who are complicating it."

I was astonished.
At first I was satisfied thinking I will not have to play all that social charade and that maybe would have some real fun with one real person, with no social roles to play.

But, boy, I was wrong.

Dorian is an performer, a social performer. So, after grabbing our attention with "Life is simple bla bla bla" he went on his story-telling crusade.
In this way we learned about his two past relationships, on how he is struggling to become a more determined human, on how he reads motivational literature and so on. We learned things that we weren't interested in.

The subjects that he approached weren't big or small, important or boring. What I enjoyed was the performance itself: theatrical pauses, gestures, mimics were as colored as a parrot itself. I wasn't paying attention anymore to the content Dorian was sharing but to the way he changed and changed during his performance. He was on a stage and we were his public.

Unfortunately for him, I got more and more interested in the psyche behind all this, so I begun interrupting him with stupid questions and after I got him off line,asked him to continue his story.

His body language changed from aggressive and confident into one defensive and almost depressive.

Poor Dorian...the non-gray shade of human being. He was on a stage performing for an audience, and the audience replied back and became interactive. He was puzzled.

I started to ask him deep questions like: "I see you are continuous looking for something and I can notice that you're not happy at all. What is missing in your life? What are you looking for?"

The performer just melted down and a depressed Dorian surfaced. Again he was interested in just himself and he looked at me like I was the Delphi Oracle with answers to true happiness. He was complaining that he keeps on missing the human interaction, that he wants to be more determined, that he wants to be able to enjoy human life than just living it.

I told him more about listening, about paying attention to simple things but then I stopped. No, I am not entitled to give advices, recommendations on what to do. I don't hold the supreme truth, the meaning of life. I may appear to know more, to feel more than the rest but then again, I am just as trapped in this show called "life" as any of you. It is not my call or my place to make judgments.

I saw a portrait of a self-absorbed human being, unhappy ego-centric human being when life is so much more than just YOURSELF.

amazing grace

2008-08-16T08:31:00.000-07:00

I was lost and now I'm found

For some weeks I had the feeling that I lost something, something familiar..something I used to have and for some reason I lost.

And after some thinking and rethinking and thinking over again I got to the conclusion that I am someone hard to digest, to believe, to understand. And because I was measuring myself on how others are seeing me, I felt lost and hard to comprehend.

But guess what?

I Remembered and I've come to my senses. This time, the right ones.

I am who I am.

There is absolutely NO reason to think it over and over again. There is NO reason at all to measure yourself after what you think others are measuring you. There is NO need to be anything else than just YOURSELF.

So, this is ME, the real me.

feels good to be back

the Me some of you recall as MySecret

I am a Romanian and I am proud to say it!

2008-07-03T01:04:00.000-07:00

I never was the nationalist type. I don't care about politics, world politics, races, ethnics matters.

I care for human beings. I care for personal development, spiritual path and so on. I care for nature, animals and people, all in one.

But in this case, I am a Romanian (and NO, Romania is not in Canada for some).

What makes me state this? Let me tell you.

On my path of glory to MySelf (I never stated that I am modest) I got involved in doing some customer service for an US Real Estate company.
This customer service is being done by Romanians, on the phone.

There are cute phone conversation, there are really difficult ones, but sometimes, once in a while, there are calls when the other person is offering jobs in PhoneSex to the ones answering, from Customer Service.

One girl, a Romanian, when being asked if she'd like to do Phone Sex she answered exactly this:

"No, thank you! I am a Romanian, I am too stupid to afford it!"

Wow I say.

Shall the one who made the offer understand that the girl would take his offer if she wasn't a Romanian? Or maybe that all Romanians are so stupid that they can't take a job like this? Or that the people who are doing Phone Sex are smarter than any other Romanian?

I like to think that she wanted to say a nice polite "No, Thank you!" but if she kept the conversation to only saying "No, Thank you" it would have been great!

I don't know what the other person replied when he heard the reason for not taking the offer but I know this:

Intelligence, Creativity, Personality, Culture is something strong related to what the person is and not with the country they are from, the color of their skin, the clothes they are wearing, the music they are listening.

I am a Romanian and I am proud to say that I am a normal human being like any other Asian, American, African human.

the Romanian side of MySelf,
the same MySecret

What is normal?!

2008-07-03T00:42:00.000-07:00

I have been lately entering a world where common sense, taste, values and culture are so far from what I believe to be normal.

I've seen young women over undressing and young men thinking that a picture of them with money is very exciting and sex-appealing.

This is a short glimpse in their world of values and way of expressing:

These are home made pictures and these pictures are being made public by them on social Internet networking like hi5, meet people, my space whatever.

I found two websites that uses to mock and make fun of these people: htt://cocalari.com and http://pitzipoanca.org. (both are in Romanian language)

At first, I laughed too, but as I was going to all the posts and the pictures I felt sad that I don't recognize myself in that kind of expressions and that I was judging.

It's easy to judge, to put a label on everything. It's even easier to dislike, to disapprove, to make fun off something that you can't seem to incorporate into something of being "normal".

For those in the world I am talking about, they are normal and I, who doesn't share the same taste for pink, or making picture with money, I am the weird one.
For me, they are weird.

And now I ask: What is normal???

the not so exhibitionist Self,
that some may remember as MySecret

Another ray of Celtic Sun

2008-06-17T01:24:00.000-07:00

I took another pick at CelticSun's blog and I am asking you the same questions, as CelticSun did here.

Here are my answers, I would like to see yours:

1.How are you feeling today?
Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin- Je t'aime...moi non plus
l'amour..toujour l'amour

2.Will you get far in life?
Oliver Shanti- The Journey to Shambala

3.How do your friends see you?
West Side Story- I feel pretty
and I pity any girl who isn't me today

4.Will you get married?
MC Solaar- "La belle et le bad boy"
with a twist of Sex and the City

5.What is your best friend’s theme?
Queen- "Friends will be friends" (there is no need for more words)

6.What is the story of your life?
Deepak Chopra and Demi Moore- Desire
the only story I know

7.What was high school like?
Outkast- "Hee Ya"

8.How can you get ahead in life?
Only like this: open and honest heart
Manowar- "Heart of Steel"

9.What is the best thing about your friends?
REM-"Happy Shiny People"
a good laughter is always welcomed

10.What is in store for this weekend?
Hoy Hoy...practicing on my project (the secret gift for Arik Sturgis)
Solid Potato Salad- The Ross Sisters

11.What song describes you?
Ray la Montagne- "Trouble"
Yap..that's me!

12.To describe your grandparents?
Peter Gabriel- "I grieve"
my grandparents and Marduk (the lost God of my heart)

13.How is your life going?
Manowar- "Master of the Wind"

14.What song will they play at your funeral?
Mike Oldfield- "Let there be light"
The illusion of life will be over at that point.

15.How does the world see you?
Leon- just 2 l of milk/day and one plant

16.Will you have a happy life?
Well, I have to tell you my secret, ok, are you ready?! just two words:
Hakuna Matata

17.What do your friends really think of you?
Sandra-Little Girl

18.Do people secretly lust after you?
The legendary Barry White "My first, my last, my everything"
modesty has never been my strongest point.

19.How can I make myself happy?
The only answer I think of is Intoxicated by Love (Rumi poem read by Deepak Chopra)

20.What should you do with your life?
This!

Rising Sun

2008-06-16T23:20:00.000-07:00

For me, she is Rising Sun, but she likes to call herself CelticSun. She managed to bring a long missed big smile on my face with her words, and also the urge to write.
My recommendation, dear friends, is to learn Romanian as soon as possible, otherwise you will lose some great stories of her reality, which is delightful. Or we can ask her to write something in English, therefore sharing her glimpse of reality.

What else about her?! Well besides being alive and actually living, she likes to play. I have deep respect for those who still enjoy a good playing, a good game.
She dared me to a game here.

The game goes something like this (I hope I got the instruction right):

1. Take the book which is the closest to your heart:

Today, the closest book to my heart is "La Medeleni" by Ionel Teodoreanu. It touches me each time I read it, it makes me laugh, dream and think, but mostly I like it because it's about childhood and seeing life through the eyes of a child.
This book goes for the child in me.

2. Open it to page 123.

Done!

3. Find the 5th sentence/phrase.

Got it! Now I have to translate. Let's see!

4. Publish 4 sentences from there.

"-Iesi afara, Profira! Adica du-te-n casa.
- Olguta, asa se vorbeste?! se incrunta doamna Deleanu
- Mama draga, am dres abatajul lui Herr Direktor.
- Sa traiesti, Olguta! dar tot bac a ramas, ca baba face cat doi!"

And now the difficult part, the translation, because sometimes The Romanian Melody cannot be translated, but I will try to do my best:

"Profira, get out! I mean, get inside."
"Olguta, is this how you talk?!" miss Deleanu frowns.
"Mother dear, I repaired Herr Direktor's panel working."
"Live many years, Olguta! but it's still game over, because the old lady counts for two!"

5. Pass the game to other 6 friends

And here you have to pass on the game, to rightfully designate 6 people, to continue the game. But for me, it's a dilemma, cause beside Arik, Haroun and CelticSun, I really don't know who to pass the game to...so it's up to you!

Enjoy your book,
The Me you may refer as MySecret

Some of you may miss me...

2008-06-10T09:36:00.000-07:00

For sure, I do miss my blog writing, which I haven't done in such a long long time. But I am back, with more stories to tell.

I've been playing lately the game of hide-and-seek with the Self, My Self. He did managed to win sometimes, but only because I love the game, called Life.

Aparente

2008-06-01T04:44:00.000-07:00

Te aprinzi usor doar cand ma privesti
Ai minti orice sa ma cuceresti
In prima seara, ingeras ceara, ma inviti afara,
Cat de dulce esti...
toata saptamana, iti transpira mana
Cand spui ca iubesti...
Nenascute, gandurile tale s-au facut petale
Le culeg de jos...
Vorbe goale, ti se pare oare
Ca mi-e greu sa recunosc un mincinos.

Poate ar trebui sa ma deghizez sa ma poti iubi
Nu inteleg de ce pentru tine sunt o imagine
Hainele sunt doar un scut, am suflet,
N-ai stiut sa vezi ce-i in inima mea
As fi fost doar a ta...

Refren:
Toata dragostea, toata viata mea
Inchise in televizor
Nu mai pot sa zbor
Spune-mi baby, oare poti sa iubesti fara sa-ntrebi de ce
Ne hranim cu aparente.

Aparente...

Prin geamuri fumurii, dupa draperii
Ascundem o iubire goala
Ne prefacem ca totul e perfect dar aparentele inseala.
Spui ca-i complicat, mi se pare simplu, m-ai inselat
Nu stii cat te-am iubit, de patru ori mai mult am suferit.
Hainele sunt doar un scut, am suflet,
N-ai stiut sa vezi ce-i in inima mea
As fi fost doar a ta...

Refren:..

Ne hranim cu aparente...
Aparente...

Intru in problema ca un asasin fin
Nu-i o problema, suntem plini de venin
Stim, fiecare se pare ca are in dotare
Masti ocazionale, gata de purtare
Oare de ce ma placi, vreau sa stiu
Pentru ca ma vezi pe scena sau ai pus un pariu
Sunt deja satul de aparente de doi lei
Stai cu mine sau cu VIP-ul, hotaraste ce vrei
Viata ta ma sperie, esti vedeta in serie
Gandeau altii pentru tine, spalatori de creiere
Industria muzicala e plina de zdrente
Tu nu esti printre ele, ai renuntat la aparente.

I am this kind of love

2008-05-31T08:25:00.000-07:00

A lover knows only humility, he has no choice.
He steals into your alley at night, he has no choice.
He longs to kiss every lock of your hair, don't fret,
he has no choice.
In his frenzied love for you, he longs to break the chains of his imprisonment,
he has no choice.

A lover asked his beloved:
- Do you love yourself more than you love me?
Beloved replied: I have died to myself and I live for you.
I've disappeared from myself and my attributes,
I am present only for you.
I've forgotten all my learnings,
but from knowing you I've become a scholar.
I've lost all my strength, but from your power I am able.

I love myself...I love you.
I love you...I love myself.

I am your lover, come to my side,
I will open the gate to your love.
Come settle with me, let us be neighbours to the stars.
You have been hiding so long, endlessly drifting in the sea of my love.
Even so, you have always been connected to me.
Concealed, revealed, in the unknown, in the un-manifest.
I am life itself.

You have been a prisoner of a little pond,
I am the ocean and its turbulent flood.
Come merge with me,
leave this world of ignorance.
Be with me, I will open the gate to your love.

I desire you more than food or drink
My body my senses my mind hunger for your taste
I can sense your presence in my heart
although you belong to all the world
I wait with silent passïon for one gesture one glance
from you.

Deepak Chopra with Demi Moore- Desire

My Deep Spiritual Quest

2008-05-30T04:49:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I last wrote. I sure missed writing down short glimpses on my reality, but I think that posting a song here and there, assured the latest news of my life.

So I feel pretty, oh, so pretty (West Side Story) and sometimes I wonder: Am I trouble? (Ray Lamontagne). This are the two actual dimensions of my spiritual quest. Maybe you can relate to it or not.

Oh, I was about to forget about Potato Girls, the Ross Sisters (Hoy Hoy). I am still looking for talents, anyone interested?!

Rainbow Warrior

2008-05-26T05:52:00.000-07:00

My dear friends,

Life never ceases to amaze me. It's like a natural flow of love surrounding me, expressing itself in a rainbow of human vibrations. Open you heart and you will feel it.

I've come across on several kinds of warriors, those who are fighting society, those who are fighting who they are, those who fight their minds, those who fight for peace, and lately I've become aware of a Rainbow Community.

I've met recently a Spiritual Entrepreneur, whose words introduced me to this community. Here is what he is saying about them:

The name Rainbow Community is inspired by an ancient Native American prophecy, about a tribe of "Rainbow Warriors" who will save the world from Environmental destruction

The prophecy goes something like this; one day, because of the man's greed, there would come a time, when the fish would die in the streams, the birds would fall from the air, the waters would be blackened, and the trees would no longer be.

Would it hurt that much if each one of use pays a little more attention to the universe, to nature and life itself or are we so self absorbed in our quest of finding The Self that we completely miss the whole picture?

I pray for holistic understanding, love and cherish.

Browsing the spiritual entrepreneur site and blog, I've found a Mayan translation of the birthday. Check it out! Look what my birthday means in Mayan culture:

Planetary Moon day 10
Year of the Yellow Lunar Seed
kin 185: Red Electric Serpent

I Activate in order to Survive
Bonding Instinct
I seal the Store of Life Force
With the Electric tone of Service
I am guided by the power of Universal Water
I am a polar kin I establish the Red galactic spectrum.

Sounds deep and natural.

But let's not forget of my own quest of bringing a huge smile on Arik face and remember that time is running out, and I am looking for talents, for a special GIFT.

With peace and serenity and an Hoy Hoy in my heart,
I sign,
The Self you find in me

Such a pretty Me

2008-05-25T05:13:00.000-07:00

Am I Trouble?

2008-05-25T04:49:00.000-07:00

Ray LaMontagne - Trouble

Looking for talents

2008-05-15T02:11:00.000-07:00

Friends everywhere unite and help me!!!

Soon, (in more than 4 months) will be the birthday of my dear friend, Arik Sturgis. I want to get him the perfect present ever and since he was the one who first introduce us the "Oy Oy Girls", I will make a video of me and two other doing that entire dance routine and, of course singing the song.

Below you have the instruction in how you can help me:

1. Watch the video below, and if, by any chance, your reaction to it is "Oh my God", please read this.

2. After stop watching the video over and over again and trying to figure out the lyrics, (like I am doing for 2 weeks now) give me an idea where I will find costumes exactly like those worn by the potato salad girls.

3. I need to know the lyrics...so far I know "Salad Potato Salad" and the best bit of the song: "Oy Oy". It's not enough!

4. The dancing routine: well, in that area I am ok, because I've learn some new tricks from doughboy, lately.

5. The hardest part of this idea will be to set up the scenery. If you have a clue where I could find that set, or pieces of it, it will be great.

6. I am the First Oy Oy Lady. I need 2 more humans engaging in this big project. If you like potato salad, give me a sign. If you like cabbage salad, then forget this job.

And last, but not least, please don't tell Arik...or, why not! He will need time to prepare himself for this...It will be a Oy Oy gift.

Got Milk?

2008-05-07T05:01:00.001-07:00

For all of you out there with PMS Syndrome....

Some have hard time with colors

2008-05-07T03:53:00.000-07:00

Talking about Communication

2008-05-05T01:32:00.000-07:00

Master of Communication

2008-05-04T05:26:00.000-07:00

According to Wikipedia,

Communication is a process that allows organisms to exchange information by several methods. Communication requires that all parties understand a common language that is exchanged. There are auditory means, such as speaking, singing and sometimes tone of voice, and nonverbal, physical means, such as body language, sign language, paralanguage, touch, eye contact, or the use of writing. Communication is defined as a process by which we assign and convey meaning in an attempt to create shared understanding. This process requires a vast repertoire of skills in intrapersonal and interpersonal processing, listening, observing, speaking, questioning, analyzing, and evaluating. Use of these processes is developmental and transfers to all areas of life: home, school, community, work, and beyond. It is through communication that collaboration and cooperation occur. Communication is the articulation of sending a message, through different media whether it be verbal or nonverbal, so long as a being transmits a thought provoking idea, gesture, action, etc.

So, communication requires a common language, a common code, known by all the parties involved in the process of speaking. But how we can master this code of communication?!!!

Is there an unique universal code of communication for each level of this act?

First of all we have language (English, French, Deutsch, Romanian, Indian, whatever). At a larger scale, we can see nowadays English as almost universal code of communication (business, programming etc).
Each language has meanings assigned to words, combination of words and particular phrases.

For now we can communicate. This level is checked. If we know the meaning assigned to words, at least we can send the message we want or we can decode the message received.

Secondly we have tone of voice, and nonverbal, physical means, such as body language, sign language, paralanguage, touch, eye contact. Let's assign to all these components a word, let's call it comverba. Every message sent is influenced by this. On one hand we have the sender's comverba. It directly influences the way the receiver gets the message. Everyone is well aware of this fact, the same words echoes differently according to the comverba.
The receiver is also in this process (it's a two way street). Even though he isn't speaking, the way he receives the message is influencing communication. His feed-back, wordless though, influences the sender. And this process is replayed over and over again, as the receiver turns into the sender and the sender in the receiver.

Thirdly, we have the psychical representation of the message, the receiver and the sender representation.
Representation is influenced by one's experience, cultural background, social relationship, education.

The sender representation of his message doesn't always match with the receiver representation, if any, doesn't match at all. Each human being is unique. His personal background, the way he reacts, acts and think, feel and develop is a UNIQUE way. Therefore, one's representation of the communication content is unique.

So, if we have all these interdependent components, that we can or cannot influence, and if all these influence the process of communication, how can we manage to communicate adequately? How can we manage to send the message we want to send? How can we manage to get the echo expected in the mind of the receiver? How can we manage to receive the message that is sent to us?

We must find a common code.

The message that I am trying to send here isn't that the human race hasn't found a way to communicate. It did and it works really good.

But, I think that communication works in its full power when a small measure of not listening, of labeling and judging is involved. I guess this is the common code, the code of being true to your self and to the other selves out there with whom you engage in a process of understanding and bonding.

Guilty

2008-05-03T03:33:00.000-07:00

I admit..I am guilty.

Until recently I was an addict of human beings. Now I've changed sides. I am addict of internet games like tribes, I am addicted to chocolate and I have a new found addiction of TV show "Sex and the City".

The game I can't get out of:

The show I can watch for hours and hours:

The only substance abuse:

So, look at me, turning into George Costanza (those familiar with TV show "Seinfeld" know what I am talking about)...getting fat and PC addict.

No more readings, no more connecting with other humans, no more activity, no more thinking, just plain games and fantasy world.

So, all you psychologist out there, come here and study me because I make a clear case for DSM IV.

What a wonderful surroundings we do have...

2008-04-29T22:53:00.000-07:00

This is our home...

The mighty Sun

Some say that women are from

and men are from

and a particular spiritual school is saying that all of us are from Vega

but what about this?

and this?

Green, the colour of altruism

2008-04-22T05:27:00.000-07:00

My opinion is that each homo sapiens sapiens is thinking, whether he admits or not, that HE alone is the center of the Universe and the Universe must submit to his power.

I ask of you, that together to step up a little from this egocentric point of view and turn our attention to the Universe instead.
It will hurt too much just to read and think about it?!

Think Green

The Family who Sold Fear

2008-04-20T23:51:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was the family Big Potato who's name is Grund. Grund married Cremla, the daughter potato from the family of the Big Order of Brown Potatoes. They lived in the land of Tomatoes Blond, a land where Queen was no one else than Shimserla (if you don't know who is Shimserla, dear friend, I tell you, you are heading to disaster, in the Adult World of Serious Life).

Queen Shimserla was told to be very stubborn and demanding. Each inhabitant of Tomatoes Blond should be less in size than her and should, all the time, wear blue skirts. The punishment of not doing it and not being the way she wanted was a cruel punishment: every outcast will be forced to play games and have fun all the time, for the rest of his life. (What a cruel Queen I may say! Don't you agree?)

The family of Big Potato Grund lived therefore in Tomatoes Blond. Soon after Cremla was in size and color like all the others, she was pregnant. She gave birth to a couple of good-looking orange potatoes.

By now, my story has to have the villain introduction, may be the Big Bad Wolf, the Wicked Step-Mother, an Uptight Sorcerer, but in this story, everything is all right. No villain here- sorry disappointing you?

What are you saying? Do I have to have a plot, a misfortune that in the end will be overcome by the good guys? Do I? No really, are you sure? Is this the way reality works? You have the settings for a perfect life, but damn that Villain who is a threat to the good functioning of all, until the Good Guy manages to defeat the Bad. Oh really, come one!!! You've watched too much TV.

Now I may have lost you. Have you ever been wondering why do you enjoy so much a story where the Good defeats the Bad? (Admit it, everyone does). It seems to me that no matter the elaborate the plot may be or the bizarre the characters are, as long as the Good conquers the Bad, everyone is happy. Someone said "All's Well that Ends Well". (yeah, I know, some dead guy who told stories, somewhere from Stratford-Upon-Avon)

But what about "The Family who Sold Fear"? The title is intriguing, right?! (If not, I'll have to shoot my deputy for the bad marketing) Fear is what you fear most. And a story of Fear is always intriguing to read because you've learned already that in each story Good defeats Bad, so, with no further introduction, Fear will be defeated. (by the Good Guy, my deputy is saying)

It doesn't matter if the story is childish, about a family of potatoes. You are ready to endure anything if the outcome of these experiences will be that Fear is defeated.

You know what?!!! I love you too much to let you continue in this conditioned form of reality. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it (and "Everbody loves Raymond") that living in a world ruled by Conditioned Answers as a mean to overcoming fear is painful.

Loving me is the same with loving you and the rest of the rest until the beginning and the end of time.

I don't fear Fear. Ha??!!! I fear, yes, but that is. I am afraid. Good for me, this means I am alive, I'm a human being living a life. I just live fear in the same way I live love or happiness. You don't see anyone trying to overcome or to defeat Happiness.

By now, the story is about me selling you Fear. The Price?? Cheap, I tell you! You won't find a better bargain anywhere else! I give you Fear for the price of a smile.De Gustibus et Coloribus non Disputandum. You give me a smile, I give you Fear. (the commercial relationship between you and me)

Actually (my deputy is saying) is a full package this Fear (a well-known brand, thanks to the society PR from its very beginning till now). I let you discover by your own what this package is containing. Just give me that smile and go on, be happy in Fear!

If you are not pleased with Fear, living it instead of trying to defeat it (like every Good Guy who is in each story but somehow misses the Real Life), therefore being a complete human (a strange effect of the complete nature of human is that it sets you free-yeah, nasty of me to say it!)...So, if you're not happy with what you've got for a smile, you can return Fear and I'll give back your smile.

The End
(of the story
of the family
of the land
of the tomatoes
of the queen
of blond
who sold fear)

Who I am?

2008-04-20T21:41:00.000-07:00

The question of every intelligent being, not preoccupied in being pretty, thin or in love, is now on my lips. My lips are asking: "Who I am?"

A very hard question to answer, but my lips are my best partner when it comes to eating, drinking, speaking, and yes, kissing. So, my lips are respecting me and I, being one honorable partner in this duo (hm!), I have to respect back my lips and I will try to answer.

Who I am?

Even when I was little I was asking who I am. It always was blurry but around the age of 6 or 7 years, I already was able to feel that there is much more than the others are saying. It felt expansive, a no limit identity. And this identity was frustrating in a world where "good children" (like me) are supposed to learn not by asking but by listening.

But this is not the story I am saying, although I can imagine that you already know the rest: frustrated parents with an inadequate style of parenting, frustrated child and the frustrated adult, the one you may know as MySecret. (what do you think about nickname MySecret?!)

I will stop here because my lips are loosing patience and I do love my lips.

Back to the question: Who I am?
Honestly I tell you that I know and I don't know. It's more a feeling of who you are or much better a feeling of who you aren't. Whenever I try to put it in words, sometimes the answer is escaping my intention.

Little I knew, about 4 years ago, that it was a glimpse of the real me, each time I've introduced myself with: Hy, I am Me, Myself and Irene (I never saw the movie but I am guessing it's a good human comedy).

So, there you go, dear lips, you have your answer: I am Me, Myself and Irene.
(By now I can bet that my lips are really confused and because I care about the sanity of my lips I'll explain or I won't).

I am Me- the little light and dark behind all things, the engine of my reality, a reality in which dear lips, you are Queens (I hope that my lips are satisfied with this answer because the Self I am talking is playing hide and seek with my letters).

I am Myself-dear lips, you know Myself, also known as MySecret, Abcd Efgh, An Aries of 26 years, daughter to a mother and to a father, lover of a one, friends of many souls, crazy for the most people on my reality.

I'm Irene- this needs to be further clarified because I don't want my lips asking around about Irene and who knows, my lips may end up kissing a Irene not familiar to Me. Who is Irene? Irene is the paranoid, schizophrenic, the dominator and the coward of me. Irene is an addict, first of all, and addict to fear and then to more earthly objects like sex (and the city!), nicotine, games, chocolate, words and the list is longer. Irene is a child, who yells out for attention, stubborn and very powerful. And Irene is a part of me, so, lips everywhere, stop looking Irene somewhere else. Irene is here.

I can suspect that by now, some of you will say: Dear MySecret, you are playing so funny with words but the definition you gave it has been already given by so many (psychologist will know better of the tri-parties structure of Id, Ego, Super Ego).

I respond: Yes, you all are right no matter what are your arguments. But let me ask you this: If you loved your lips the way I love mine, and if you'll be grateful and respectful to your lips the way I am to my own- in this case, if your lips will come to and ask "Who are you?" what will you say?
I am Me, Myself and Irene but I am much more than that, I sum up and I am contained in every breathing and non-breathing that entered my reality. I ask you: Who I am? and better yet: Who are you?

Asking Why...

2008-04-18T05:42:00.001-07:00

I will not refer here to the "Why?" used as a mean of exploring the world; one of the best device of children: Why are there stars? Why are men different than women? Why does it rain? and so on...(uncomfortable questions for some adults).

I will talk about the Why does that relationship ended? Why you don't love me? Why we end up here?

In what it concerns relations with others,I see people (including myself, yours truly, MySecret by the name) blocked in a circle of emotions and the only apparently way out is asking WHY.

Even though it may be easier to know why the other is behaving, feeling and thinking the way he does, (and I don't doubt for a minute the power of defense mechanism of projection, rationalization- it's easy to assign that the relation ended because he is a career driven guy and you are a incurable romantic, or that she is a free-sexual-individual and you are a monogamist)..but, Honestly, what is the point in asking why about past relations?

I think that the key word here is "past".

One may argue that he needs to know why so he will not do the same "mistakes" again.

In fact, I don't see it as a matter of mistakes. In relationships, of any sort, the law is compatibility or incompatibility. At one point, you may be compatible with one person, but, maybe, the day after tomorrow you don't recognize that person, anymore. You may be lucky and blessed to be compatible with the same one all your life, but if we talk about past relationships I say that you weren't compatible with the one from your past no matter what you did or didn't.

And the best sign for compatibility is the present. If the other is a past relationship this means that somewhere incompatibility burst in and no amount of asking why will change something.

Now, I ask WHY. Why it is so hard to stop wondering about the past? Why we always choose the easy way of making the others responsible for our feelings? Why aren't we able to be choose something else that the same pattern of asking WHY?

7 x 9 = 49

2008-04-16T23:33:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was on a date with a guy I met recently, I think last week. I usually don't date like this, if any, I prefer not to date, but I've decided to dare myself to a new dimension: the dimension of dating.

So, go girl I said and anxiously met up with this stranger. From the first 5 minutes I could tell that I don't want to spend anymore time with him but then again daring myself to this dimension meant also putting up a little effort to get to know the other before labeling.

The label I dated last night is "Wikipedia" 0.1 (free trial version).
From the very beginning he told me scientific facts about: pets, dogs (which is my favorite subject but not in terms of statistics), neurophysiology (as he saw it), genius minds (he was referring to "the idiotic savants" that are impaired in real life but extremely advanced in some area like maths, music) and his job. Not a single question about me.

After 40 minutes of lecture on these subjects I was really wondering. Does this man needs only a spectator to his "vast" knowledge or he is really interested in me?? I choose option 2 so I can justify my time with him.

It's not that it wasn't fun but I wasn't really looking for an information update on these subjects, and especially not on a Wednesday night. What I like is communication, damn it! If I want to be informed on how many breeds of dogs are in our country I will check for it, but when I am talking with a real living human being, I prefer to learn more about their life knowledge, not the beliefs and facts of others. I would like to get to know the person that sits in front of me.

I've asked what are his plans for the near future. It was a innocent polite question. I hoped I could change a little the date mood. Then I've got a lecture on "True Uniques Love".
(Until now I used to think that believing in "True Love" is a woman "device", after all, we women are the princess who waits for Prince Charming to the rescue. But, looks like "Wikipedia" 0.1. has also an article about True Love.)

According to "Wikipedia" 0.1., true love is when you feel the other, (Jackpot!), when you are the same...(this two sentence were the single real statements I heard from him all night)..the woman may be superior in intellect but not that superior. (Hm! I was about to launch on a preach about men and women and the differences between but I didn't, the fear of another lecture was stronger).

Maybe Wikipedia tried to impress me with all this facts. I wonder, do I really look like a scientific-addict, do I look like a person-with-intellectual-interest-only? And if so, are my glasses to be blame for this?

I wasn't the only one labeling. I asked question and according to the answers I've got, I structured more the category for this human.

I wasn't asked what do I do in real life, besides looking absolutely divine (funny side of me), what I like, interest, hobbies, something about me.

I was given a logical problem: "A man and his son has an accident, the father dies and the son is taken to the emergency room for operation. The doctor who is in surgery is saying: This is my son. Who is his father?"...I was puzzled. Not only my logic skills really sucks, but this is what you are interested when you first meet me.

Normally, I passed the problem. His reaction: "I will give you an easier one. You have 9 fruits"...Really, was I on a exam??! It certainly looked like that!

I refused to listen and to solve the second test and somewhere from the deep dark soul of me came out: "You know, I've recently took an IQ test, it was in English and I scored 133." Really mature!

After 5 minutes of uncomfortable silence, he proposed to me a game: Think of a number between 1 and 9, multiply it with 9, etc and in the end I will guess the number you were thinking when you give me the final result. Please, pay attention!

That game should have worked well if only I could multiply 7 with 9. You should have seen the look on his face, when he noticed that for me, last night 7 x 9 = 49...

Damn these exams...I was so sure I got the good answer!

Eventually the date ended, he wants to get together again, but for sure, I will be very very busy...I have to learn again the basic arithmetical operations...Who knows, maybe my Prince Charming is asking 27 x 9 and I fail....

Anyway, where is my Prince Charming?

Who can say...?

2008-04-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been wondering about the decision you have made so far? Were good or bad decision?

I have always led my life according to what I feel. If I feel I wanna work in a Candy Shop, then that is the place you will find me. If I feel like not talking or enjoying the company of other people, then you will see me as Miss Old Grumpy (although some may argue, I have a big smile drew to my face, God's sense of humor on me).

All my big decision in life were definitely related to what I feel. Sometimes, the others were very intrusive in disapproving: "You cannot act on what you feel, you should think of what are the consequences, if this action is god or bad for others, etc".

You may say that I am behaving selfishly, much more childish than mature. But the emotions I am feeling and its magnitude is far too big to handle or ignore.

Were the decisions I've made so far bad? Were these decisions good? I really cannot say. Honestly, all I can state is I feel good with myself.

In human decisional process I find that some persons needs other's support, back-up on their decision. Others doesn't rely on any human support at all, not from their spouse, relatives, religious beliefs and so on.

What is the ultimate factor that grants the value of a choice you made? Is it the rule system of the society in which you are living? Is the social pressure for conformity? Your values? Beliefs? Life experience?

Feeling the way I do, constantly amazing myself, I can't find the power in me to judge others actions. It feels like I will be judging me. After all, we are human beings, with the same dimensions of True Self. "Don't do to others what you don't want to be done on you" (Right, Arik?)
(I used so many times the verb "feel" that I will be considered a feeler rather than a thinker)

In the end, I feel like saying: Make the choice you feel comfortably with. If you feel good I assure you that the others will feel good around you. This is the Universe way of working. Be true to yourself and your world will be true to you. And that is real power...good or bad, who can say?!

I'm ...Slave to Love

2008-04-14T02:58:00.000-07:00

Tell her I´ll be waiting
In the usual place
With the tired and weary
There´s no escape

To need a woman
You´ve got to know
How the strong get weak
And the rich get poor

Slave to love
Slave to love

You´re running with me
Don´t touch the ground
We´re restless hearted
Not the chained and bound

The sky is burning
A sea of flame
Though your world is changing
I will be the same

Slave to love
Slave to love
Slave to love
Slave to love
I can't escape
I'm a slave to love

Can you help me?
Can you help me?

The storm is breaking
Or so it seems
We´re too young to reason
Too grown up to dream

Now spring is turning
Your face to mine
I can hear your laughter
I can see your smile

Slave to love
Slave to love
Slave to love
Slave to love
No I can´t escape
I´m a slave to love

Slave to love
Slave to love
I can´t escape
I´m a slave to love

Sorry for this

2008-04-11T04:47:00.000-07:00

I know April 1 was 10 days ago, but isn't it nice?

Soul Music

2008-04-09T22:49:00.000-07:00

Sharing has become a way of living. There is nothing I would like more than to share with you great experiences, gifts of wonders. You saw recently a part of my friend, Arik Sturgis in the post "Interview with an...DoughBoy".You will see on his blog a part of me here.

Last night I was a part of a spectacular experience. I went to the cinema with three of my friends to see the movie "The Bucket List". I went along with them because I've always adored Jack Nicholson' acting skills. But that journey just began.

We didn't caught the beginning of the movie because we had to stay in line to buy tickets, the cinema room was overcrowded and we end up watching the movie sitting on stairs. It was fun sitting there and not in chairs like the others.

The movie turned out to be another inspirational piece of art. It's about two different man, different in fears but common in human being, who choose to live their life. They are diagnosed with cancer and with just few months of living, they make a "Bucket List", a list with things that they will like to do before dying.

If what I wrote so far resonates with you, check the trailer below and why not, the movie itself!

This post is not about "The Bucket List" although is a good exercise to make your own "Bucket list". This post is about the power of soul.

Since my journey began I found out that few of my friends really understood and accepted my new life. It's not that I've become a sort of "metaphysical thinker" but when they are asking what's new with me and I say: "Nothing unnatural. I just love myself and everything around me" they find hard to go along. I don't judge, they are still my friends and I love them.

Life is surprising and it offered me gifts of humans like me, I will only mention here Alina, Arik Strugis.

Let's return to what I really wanted to share. I have been going to cinema since I was 4 years old, with my father that always read to me the subtitles of the movie. I will always go to the cinema because I love the experience of collective watching a movie. When the movie is being played, all the people in the room becomes a small group of friends.

Watching this movie was again touching me in my core belief. I felt resonance with the teaching that were shared. But I thought that I am the only one feeling this.

I wasn't prepared for applause during the movie. Real applause from different corners and the ending of the movie turned out into everyone standing and applauding.

It was my first time when I've encountered this magnitude of soul reaching. In all my cinema going I never experienced applause and standing ovation. This moved me more than the movie itself. I was overwhelmed and I thanked life for giving me the opportunity to see again the power of the self. You may try to hide your true nature but it always finds a way to come to surface and express itself.

Interview with an...DoughBoy

2008-04-09T12:36:00.000-07:00

He goes by the name Arik Strugis, but he is by far the most inspirational doughboy ever. I've got familiar with his blog on my first days of wandering through the profiles of other bloggers. I did not know Arik at that point but it felt so familiar that I felt the urge to say "Hi and welcome back!" (and I said it)!

After some post of Arik it became very clear to me that we are in the same boat, the boat of searching and exploring each corners of our self but in the same time not knowing anything. Each one of us has his own life, own past and future, I may say. But we meet on this World Wide Web.

His path is interesting and complex but in the same time human and meaningful, you can tell by the quality of his writings. I will never stop cherishing the true experiences of others and the great teachings that they can share. One mustn't be a great man, a great teacher, an expert in something. Each one of us has a teaching or teachings to share with the world. All you have to do is just listen.

He is true to his nature and he is a good friend and a wonderful human being. This post goes to you and to your family, Arik Sturgis.

So dear readers, I felt the need to share with you some of Arik's insights.

"The Heck do I Know" is already a brand, the brand of Arik Strugis. How did this theme came up?

It's sort of an obvious twist on "What The Bleep Do We Know". And, yes, my blog may at times touch on subjects such as that. But more of the reason behind the name was just simply because I wanted to put my thoughts out there for the world to see. I think we all have something we want to say, and in the internet age it is so easy to have your thoughts seen by 5 people. I mean 5 million people. (We can dream, can't we?) And even though I'm putting my thoughts out there, that doesn't mean I know anything. I always have to be open to possibilities and perspectives, no matter where they come from. The heck do I know? Nothing! I feel...I believe... Do I know? Does anyone?

Is DoughBoy really getting married?

Turns out Aunt Jemima is already married to Uncle Ben. Dammit. She was playing an April Fool's joke on me. But one day I'd love to meet that special someone and put some buns in the oven, if you know what I mean.

OK, in reality, I am very happily married (just celebrated our 9th anniversary) and we have a wonderful son who is turning out to be quite an independent thinker. We've got our work cut out for us!

We all are familiar with your blog The Heck do I know and posts. You seem to have such a clear perspective on life. What is the advice that you will suggest to anyone and everyone?

Wow. I certainly don't think I have a clear perspective on life! The heck do I know, again, right? But if anything, I think both you and I share the same idea that life is meant to just be experienced, for whatever it is at any moment. I suppose that's pretty clear for some people, but not for many. My advice? Look into yourself more than you look outside yourself. There is more truth inside you than you can ever find from outside sources, such as religion, TV talk shows, etc. Use your brain, think about things, but also focus on your feelings and go with them. This doesn't mean that when you feel like punching out your noisy neighbors you go and do it. If you are doing something that doesn't hurt anyone else, go with it.

One can never question the taste of the other. The music that is available on your blog somehow resonates with more than one person. Quick, the favorite piece of music Arik Sturgis has for relaxing.

For some reason this seems to be the hardest question for me to answer, believe it or not! Music runs so deeply in me. There are some groups I like to listen to when I'm relaxing, like Amthystium, Enigma, Emmy Rossum, Sarah Brightman, Mysteria and Lesiem. But then there are times that I'm relaxing that most people wouldn't think I am. Like when I'm balancing the checkbook or doing taxes! I work with numbers all day, but I've found myself in a very focussed mode when I do stuff like that. It's like another form of meditation. But when I'm doing that, it's not uncommon for me to be listening to Trance music, or something with a heavy beat. Meditation, by the way, doesn't have to mean sitting in the lotus position while chanting 'Om', like many people probably think. Man, I meditated a heck of a lot in my day, just by chilling out an listening to music with my headphones on. I also find driving to be a calming state for me, and basically anything goes when I'm driving except for calm, quiet, soothing music.

It's easy to see the extent that you studied and studied the matters of spirituality and life in general. If you were to summarize all that knowledge in one phrase, what will you say?

I'm gonna have to steal a line from one of my favorite movies for this one, actually. It's from "This Is Spinal Tap" and it's really impressive when you take it out of the context of a comedy film. The phrase is "Have a good time all the time."

6. You will have one day to live this life. What will you do? What is your legacy to the world?

Well, I certainly wouldn't go to work that day, that's for darn sure. It would be spending the day with the people that I love, really. That's what it all comes down to, doesn't it? And reflecting on whether I have achieved that which I have posted on my profile's description, which is a poem from Ralph Waldo Emerson, called 'A Successful Man'. You'll notice that at no point in that poem about success does the word 'money' show up. And then with those people I love...who knows...tell them how much they've meant to me (even though we should always remember to do that at every opportunity otherwise) and what differences they have made in my life, regardless of the fact that it was ending at any moment. By the way, if you were to ask me, I would say I feel very confident that I've fulfilled the poem in my life, were it to end today. But let's not push that button quite yet. :^)

Are you happy?

See above. But, in short, absolutely. Have you ever seen an angry doughboy?!? Nope!

Taking into account that "Azi sunt Om" is a blog dedicated to being human in every single aspect, can you think of a way to incorporate vanilla-flavored Dough Boy Arik into a story of being?!

Poor little doughboys aren't human. But here goes: Once upon a time, Arik Sturgis was.

That's it. Kind of sums it all up, doesn't it?

Yes it does, dear friend.

Thank you for being!

The same,
Abcd Efgh

Tango in History Class

2008-04-06T22:20:00.000-07:00

Our society has a particular way to educate the youth into desirable adults. In school, highschool, kindergarden or college, one will learn that questioning is bad while conforming is good.

I am happy that yesterday I found out from a teenage friend of mine that the youth emphasis is not on asimilating their teacher's beliefs but rather having fun. And what best way to live and learn than by having fun.

The next movie was taken by my friend in their History Class.

They weren't intersted at all in the history of already dead people. The present looked much better.

Enjoy!

Jobbing is dating?

2008-04-06T00:26:00.000-07:00

I am jobbing. Not shopping like every female organism does but I am jobbing, looking for a job.

I remember what Jerry Seinfeld said once: "First date is like a job interview, only that on a date you might end up without all your clothes." True maybe, but the human resource process looks more like dating to me.

I myself did some personnel selection and hiring but right now I will speak from the applicant point of view. Maybe, the HR specialists out there will take a look and think about it a little.

So you are jobbing/dating. When you know that you want, a job or someone in your life, you start to look. First you establish what you want, the criteria for your search and then you start looking.

First comes social networking. You spread word to all your friends and the people you know that you are looking for that something. Then you go to newspapers, Internet. (Do you see a difference so far between dating and jobbing, because I don't!)

You send your curriculum vitae and then the call from a company that wishes to establish a meeting.

Interview=first date. You dress up in the suit of the best candidate ever for that job and show up. I met so far great HR managers but I also met people with lower skills and "feeling" in this "human evaluation process".

It's now the point of questions. They ask, you ask. They are trying to determine if you are suitable for the position, you are trying to determine if this company is matching your criteria.

At the end at the meeting the last words are: "We will call you next week" or "You will hear from us". In the dating world, the last phrase means actually "I will never call you but I am being polite".

We are now at the point of waiting. Will he/she call?

If you are lucky enough, you can meet HR managers with integrity. The same HR managers will call you even if they have a bad news to share. But it is always best a "NO" answer than no answer at all.

I wonder often: Is jobbing dating or dating is jobbing? What came first?

Good morning everybody

2008-04-05T12:56:00.000-07:00

I say "Good Morning!" because April is still my favorite month of the year (I wonder why) and for me, spring always represents the return of the sun into my so-called young life.

This is not me... but I think I use to look like this little girl

I say "Good Morning!" because for the past few days I wasn't....how shall I put it..hm! I wasn't in the mood of writing anything...not even a short note of "I love you!" or "Thank you" or "Hate you!".

This is me in the past few days

I was mad and sad. But I refuse to play the victim role so I won't say anything about it.

Just for your pure information I also have bad days, I am not happy and content all the time. I am human, like the rest of you (I hope...)

For those of you who already know me, you will recognize me in the next image...

Me in all my splendor, they only said Cheese..but then I'm not an ordinarily cat, I'm human, please don't tell!

And if you were wondering what I am doing just take a quick look:
I'm painting and I am playing:

So, my advice to you goes something like this:

PLAY

PAINT

SING

CRY

In other words: BE HUMAN..

The Last Lecture

2008-04-04T12:03:00.000-07:00

You should invest 76 min and 26 sec of your life, put on your child glasses and watch this movie. There are amazing people out there!

Who are the real teachers?

2008-03-30T23:14:00.000-07:00

Somehow we lost our ability to wonder, to discover, to explore. Every day I look around me and I see people unable to feel and share joy, love, respect, and consideration. Everywhere I turn I see monster like possessiveness, jealousy, envy, lust. It is ok to "own somebody" if we are engaged in a relationship, it's ok to ask and pretend that someone to be what we want him/her to be. And we punish that person for being someone else; we punish each single manifestation of the true self.

This is what our teachers have been teaching us for such a long time: Being true to you is not acceptable. Being like the others is a virtue. We, the society, developed a complex system of rewarding the obedience and punishing the true manifestation of the mind, heart and spirit.

Yes, you may argue: But good arises from this societal organization. Look, we have complex industry, better way of living, better food, etc. We don't live in caves anymore, we've evolved. Is this the ultimate answer to our continuous quest for happiness? Do you really feel good living in a big flat by your own, because you don't have time or availability to build a relationship? Do you really feel good in that big car that you use only for going to work and back home? Is this the real you?

I don't judge your way of living. I am only asking. Are you able to be human? Are you capable to relate to that five years old that kisses the ice-cream shop window when he sees all that goods in there? Are you able to love as the pet does? No obligation, no claim, no rule.

I feel that we’ve been listening to the wrong teachers. Society teaches me how can I be successful, but success is measured in big bank accounts, big houses, beautiful wife, good job, better lifestyle. Therefore, we should feel the feeling of happiness, in the modern presumption. Really?!!!!

What happened to that child that constantly was asking questions? He was asking, not judging if his questions were smart, pointless or not. Actually, he didn't care about the adult world, with all its rules. He was just exploring his reality, inside and outside. He was experimenting each corner of his soul.

I feel that freedom is the way of teaching. And this freedom we can only learn from the youngest. The students are the teachers. The teachers are being taught.

Look what happens in a society that values equality, simplicity and freedom. They don't have big houses, more money and so on. But this is not their ultimate purpose. And I have a small hunch that they are happy. And again, the heck do I know? (Like a good friend is saying)

Muria and their Gothul

The tribe is called the Muria, who are the inhabitants of North Bastar. They have a custom called Ghotul. The Ghotul is a kind of dormitory where unmarried men and women freely establish sexual relations. In the Ghotul, the boy members are known as Chelik and the girls as Motiari.

As a result, children learn about love at an early age, by watching others. They imitate what they see. Mothers typically teach their daughters about the extent to which they can go at the Ghotuls. Should any problems occur, the Motiyari tells the elders and they collectively sort out the problem. Nobody feels embarrassed by this, nor is anybody despised.

Equality, simplicity, and freedom form the fundamental fabric of the Ghotul life. Members eat, play, dress, and sleep without any separation of males and females. The Ghotul tradition of the Muria tribals points to the equality and unisexuality of primitive humans. In the tribe, young men and women 'date' from the age of ten onwards. Since the Ghotuls do not have formal teachers, the students never develop the attitude that the teachers are of a different generation.

The institution of Ghotul is based on the concept of unity and brotherhood. The Ghotul is a place where boys and girls are trained to overcome attachments, jealousies and possessiveness. In the Ghotul, friendliness, sympathy and unity are of prime importance. Instead of individualistic love, there is community love and individualism does not have any place within the Ghotul. The Ghotul helps in the emotional growth of the young people. It also binds their society together, and helps the Muria boys and girls to grow up in a kind of group discipline.

The existence of the Ghotul is the reason why there are hardly any crimes committed due to jealousy etc. Strangely enough, though promiscuity amongst the unmarried youth is allowed, it is frowned upon when committed by married people. Adultery hardly ever occurs. In this way the Muria society is highly developed.

Since sex is considered very natural phenomena at the Ghotuls, there arise no perversions. Sex is seen as natural as hunger or sleep. In some civilized societies, sex is considered to be a man's right and woman's duty, whereas at the Ghotul, it's a Motiyari's privilege and the Chilak's duty. Since partners are continuously rotated, every pair gets a chance sooner or later. Although dating is restricted to Ghotuls, it is not uncommon for the couples to meet outside the Ghotul, in the forest or at the river. If someone finds out, both of them are punished. If a Motiyari singles out a boy to treats him specially, she's punished by the other boys. Because of their sexual freedom, at the time of marriage, neither is the bride a virgin, nor is the groom inexperienced.

Although youngsters enjoy free sex at Ghotuls, they practice strict monogamy during married life. Those who succumb to weaknesses are sometimes punished even with death. Married people cannot enter the Ghotuls. The youngsters strongly protest any meddling in the Ghotul's affairs by their elders.

My SATC obsession

2008-03-27T02:22:00.000-07:00

An American Girl In Paris- last episode

Peace...just let go

2008-03-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

Oliver Shanti- Journey to Shambala

Oliver Shanti - l' ultime arbre (the tree)

Oliver Shanti- Canakkale

Oliver Shanti- Listening to your heart

The fascinating Romania..a short glimpse

2008-03-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

My Romanian friends will understand why it's funny...

To my non-Romanian...I tell you...this is something you typically find in Romania, at almost any traditionally wedding party...And you cannot have a party without drinking and music, right?!...Hope you will enjoy our old drunk man who is performing a song named after some lady, Catalina...He is for sure Chippendale material...don't you agree?

And Romania is much more:

My home town:

This clip is about saving Sinaia from all the modern construction that are ruining its royal look.

The town I fell in love with the moment I set my foot there...after 8 years I am still here:

A little bit of our history:

The dictator Nicolae Ceausescu, his last speech:

The Romanian Revolution of 1989:

"On the morning of December 21, Ceauşescu addressed a mass assembly of a hundred thousand people to condemn the uprising of Timişoara. Speaking from the balcony of the Central Committee building in the usual "wooden laguage", Ceauşescu delivered a litany of the achievements of the "socialist revolution" and Romanian "multi-laterally developed socialist society". The people, however, remained apathetic, and only the front rows supported Ceauşescu with cheers and applause. His lack of understanding of the events and his incapacity to handle the situation were further demonstrated as he offered, as an act of desperation, to raise the salaries for workers by the ridiculous amount of 100 Lei (about 4 $ USA at the time) per month and kept praising the achievements of the Socialist Revolution, still unable to realize that a revolution was unfolding right in front of his eyes.
As he was addressing the crowd from the balcony of the Central Committee building, sudden movement coming from the outskirts of the mass assembly and the sound of what various sources have reported as fireworks, bombs, or guns broke the orderly manifestation into chaos. Scared at first, the crowds tried to disperse. Bullhorns were used to spread the news that the Securitate was firing on them and that a "revolution" was unfolding, and finally the people were persuaded to join in. The rally turned into a protest demonstration and in the end a revolution emerged.
Ceauşescu, his wife, as well as other officials and CPEx members panicked, and finally Ceauşescu went into hiding inside the building. The live transmission of the meeting was interrupted, but the people who were watching had seen enough to realise that something unusual was going on.
The reaction of Ceauşescu couple is memorable, as they were staging futile attempts to regain control over the convulsing crowd using phone conversation formulas such as "Alo, Alo" ("Hello, Hello") or Ceauşescu's wife "advising" him how to contain the situation: "Vorbeşte-le, vorbeşte-le" ("Talk to them, talk to them") and to the crowd "Stati liniştiti la locurile voastre" ("Sit quiet in your places"); finally Ceauşescu allowed himself to be directed inside the Central Committee building by his underlings.
The jeers and whistles erupted into riot; the people fled the immediate location, but took to the streets, placing the capital, like Timişoara, in turmoil. People were chanting anti-communist and anti-Ceauşescu slogans: "Jos dictatorul!" ("Down with the dictator"), "Moarte criminalului!" ("Death to the criminal"), "Noi suntem poporul, jos cu dictatorul!" ("We are the People, down with the dictator")."

Full Metal Alchemist AMV - Nightwish (Wanderlust)

2008-03-26T03:48:00.000-07:00

no writing...just watching, hearing, tasting, feeling...

well...what do you say about this?!

2008-03-25T00:04:00.000-07:00

The ultimate Answer

2008-03-24T00:47:00.001-07:00

The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

What God is saying...

2008-03-23T23:15:00.000-07:00

Last evening I saw "Evan Almighty". A very nice movie in which God is contacting congressman Evan Baxter and tells him to build a ark in preparation for a great flood. It's a comedy of biblical proportion.

Besides the fun parts in the movie, there was a particular scene that caught my eyes. Already Congressman Evan was looking more like Noe, with long hair and beard and dressed in a long gown. He could not return to his regular job, nor could he change his appearance. The only thing that he could do was to work on the ark; it was impossible for him to do something else. So he finally accepted his mission. He was suspended from his job; everyone around, other congressmen, TV shows, made fun of him and his wife thought that he is insane. So, she took their three kids and left him, leaving him alone to build the ark.

She and her kids were in a restaurant and couldn't stop thinking of her husband. At one moment she remained alone and then one waiter, actually God (played by Morgan Freeman), came to her.

What he told her was something like this:
“When people are praying for patience, does God give them patience or he is giving them opportunity to show patience? When people are praying for courage, does God gives them instantly courage or is he providing with situations in which courage it’s shown? When people are asking for happiness to their family is God fulfilling them with these beautiful emotion or is creating opportunities in which love will be more powerful? ”

It looks like we are those demanding kids who are saying: “I want to be happy” “I want to be rich” and so on and if we don’t receive what we demanded and in exactly the same form we’ve asked… then WE ARE MAD. Mad at God, the system, the government, the school, parents…everyone and everything, including us. Hey, we are the victims here, we need comfort (physical, psychological, emotional etc)!!!

I know a joke:
“Once, there was a man who was daily praying to God: Please make me win the lottery.
Day after day, he was constantly addressing: Dear God, make me win the lottery pot.
Days went by and nothing.
So the man went to a church and again he prayed: Dear God let me win the lottery pot.
At that moment, he heard a great voice from above. God was speaking. He said: If you want to win the lottery, then…….BUY A LOTERRY TICKET! ”

Let’s not turn ourselves in the victims. We shall not allow anyone and anything to be responsible of our happiness, our life. We are the ones in charge. The Universe/God/society etc is working with us but we have to buy our lottery ticket. We have all the opportunities, we just have to act. And this action may be a physical, emotional…may be of any sort. But we can not allow anymore to live a passive life.

A short look into my reality....

2008-03-23T03:47:00.000-07:00

You may have seen "The Secret", you may have heard about The Law of attraction. Either you know what I am talking about or don't, let me tell you that WE are the creators of our life. It's our amazing and divine nature that gives us this power: TO CREATE. We are here, on Earth, in this life, to create experiences, to evolve, to develop one, to expand the Universe. And the Universe is working by a simple law: the LAW OF ATTRACTION. Basically, who you are is attracting everything that corresponds with you. If you feel like a victim, then more situations will arise in which you again you will feel like a victim. It’s your choice how you want your life to be. Not mine, not God’s, not society’s. It’s all about YOU.

I don’t want to make you believe in my reality. Actually, I don’t even care if you do or don’t. Either way, I’m still the same. The same WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING. (Azi sunt om)

I will not talk about my perspective on life, Universe, God and so on right now. Maybe another day, another time.
I only want to share that this law is functioning.

So, where I was? It looked that I’ve created my own life so far and my own thoughts and wishes are creating my future. This was a scary thought. But soon I’ve learned that it always has to do with FOCUS and the amount of energy put into one thought and wish.

Well, as soon as I stop believing in the beliefs of others then a new world came to my aid. I can only mention books like “What the bleep do we know?!” “Henry and June”, movie “Peaceful Warrior” and last but least, true humans, true friends, true wonders in my life, Alina, Arik Sturgis. These examples are the few I can remember but each one played a major role in my evolving, challenged me constantly to grow! Only gratitude to them. (Can you sense the Law of attraction, yet?!)

I was in the place of nothing. Nothing what-so-freaking-ever. I had nothing to lean to. Only me! It felt amazing. From that point I could begin to create my desired reality.

I wished for a friend, a true person, beyond the social rules, beyond time zone, beyond the addictive nature of human relationship as we often create. At first seemed like a Mission Impossible. Little I understood when I first entered, a month ago, the blog of Arik. The heck do I know? Said the blogger. I say the same. Now, I discover each moment, a true thinker, a real person. He is daring himself constantly to a new dimension. He is growing, unlike more of you, who are still living in a conditionate-response-reality. Thank you, Arik, for being you. And again, the Heck do I know?!
(The Law of Attraction- stage 2)

Another wish was that I will be able to put mathematic in practice. I wished to have the knowledge and opportunity to start create software programs. Yeah, you say, you should have made a different choice when it comes to education. I say, maybe, but that choice gave me this moment. From the time I wished this till now passed three months. No sign of software in sight.
Today, after finishing my book of Anais Nin, I was in the place of choice again. What shall I do?! When I am in a place like this I always open my computer and start playing Solitaire and think. I played for more than 3 hours. Addictive game, addictive person I am, but without the game of Solitaire how come will I’ve got to the point to browse the software installed on my computer?!!!! And the surprise, there IT was. Waiting for me. FOX PRO Software application waiting for a click to begin. It was always there, but not for my eyes.
Aha! Immediately, I remembered that I have a manual of FOX PRO Software. So now I have the tools to start working on my software developer abilities. It’s a start but, hey!, MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE.
(The Law of Attraction-stage 3)

My next wish is to have a wonderful vacation on Island Santa Lucia, Caribbean heaven. I can almost feel the sun gently on my skin, the blue clear water of the ocean, the sand. I’ve initiated the wish. I will let now the Universe work its way. Maybe it will be tomorrow, maybe it will be in 10 years. I don’t care. I’m there already.

So, in the end, I say, like my dear friend is saying, The Heck Do I know?!

The place of my future vacation..enjoy

2008-03-21T01:49:00.000-07:00

Island Santa Lucia...my carabbean dream to be

Enjoy

2008-03-20T01:01:00.000-07:00

The Internet Era (another name for the same problem)

2008-03-19T03:22:00.000-07:00

How come we end up living our lives, our social lives on the internet? Is it normal to live your life on-line? What are the damages of this way of living? Are we afraid of life?

I started asking this question when I saw one of my friend terrified that he accidentaly lost all his messenger contacts. He was terrified. Stop for a minute and imagine that YOU don't have anyone in your messenger list. Aaaa, freaky, right?!

Let's talk about the "Messenger Drug". Admit it, you're addicted to it!

When we are behind a computer screen we feel like God. (no ofense to GOD, I am talking about our interpretation of God almighty). So, you are God almighty.

You can choose your friends, you have the power that by a single right click to "Ignore" to actually IGNORE someone. You delete people from your list. You DELETE. This is what scares me the most.

You can even have a sort of marriage, and then divorce by either Ignore or Delete. Yes, you cannot have children. Thank God for that! (the real God not the Almighty you think).

You express your emotions by emoticons like :D :) and so on. But if I was one true observer I could notice that even though you are expressing through emoticons, the reality is that your body, your face shows nothing. You're as empty as the computer screen in front of you.

You tell jokes, you find out news, you share information, pictures.

You even have your own brand and you are the PR manager. The size of our messenger list measures our performance as a manager. The more the better. You stop at nothing to get more ID's on your list.

Your brand: your avatar picture and your logo. I made a little experiment. I chosed for my avatar a picture with an Amish family and no logo. Nobody even bothered to begin a conversation with me. The reaction I got to my brand was: "What a bad choice for a avatar". So I was a bad PR manager. Then I changed my avatar pic with one that screamed SEX. It was a sexy brunette, long hair, not naked but eating a banana. And the logo: Can you taste this?! You can not begin to imagine what a breakthrough was this for my PR management. I found out that out there, outside my ignore and delete list was so many people that were interested in the messenger me. Men's reaction: "Uuu, baby, you turn me on". Women's reaction: "Change that picture imediatly, I don't want competition".

So by now I've come to realize that we are kidding ourselves behind the computer screen. Messenger or no messenger. On the Internet rules the law of PRETENTING. You pretend to be that gorgeus brunette eating a banana so you can have only succes but not failures. You pretend to have power over people, by exercizing Ignore and Delete. In the real life, (Did you forget already that there is a life beyond the computer screen. Well, my boy, news flash to you:THERE IS, you just simply choosed to IGNORE it) I was saying, in the real life you cannot exercize this kind of power over you.

Yes, it can hurt sometime, but are you willing to throw away the taste of great food, the smell of the favorite perfume, the image of your loved ones, the twinkles in your eyes when you feel love, the sea, the action, the movement for A BRUNETTE EATING A BANANA????

I am not saying this is good or that is bad. Not my place to do that and honestly, I don't know how. I've only noticed that we, humans, tend to live in fear and fear makes freaks like Computer Addiction, Drugs Addiction, Sex Addiction, name one thing and someone somewhere has a addiction to it. We are addicted. We are addicted to fear. The root of all our problems: FEAR.

So you can either IGNORE me, or DELETE me...or WANT me. Either way I will always be Jiminy Cricket, showing that THERE IS LIFE BEYOND FEAR.

There is LIFE after the old you

2008-03-19T00:55:00.000-07:00

Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg - Je T'aime... Moi Non Plus

Make some noise

2008-03-14T02:27:00.000-07:00

DJ Tiesto-Adagio for strings

Only if you can imagine the power you have

2008-03-12T07:05:00.000-07:00

From another life

2008-03-12T03:11:00.000-07:00

Oliver Shanti-"Om Bishwa Shanti Hum"

Keep your mind and heart open

2008-03-11T00:39:00.000-07:00

It is time to challenge your beliefs, your way of being and feeling. Read this post .

Hakuna Matata

2008-03-10T05:40:00.000-07:00

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase

Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze

It means no worries for the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy

Hakuna Matata!

Hakuna Matata?

Yeah. It's our motto!

What's a motto?

Nothing. What's a-motto with you?

Those two words will solve all your problems

That's right. Take Pumbaa here
Why, when he was a young warthog...

When I was a young wart hog

Very nice

Thanks

He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal
He could clear the savannah after every meal

I'm a sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned
And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind
And oh, the shame He was ashamed
Thought of changin' my name What's in a name?
And I got downhearted How did ya feel?
Everytime that I...

Hey! Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids!
Oh. Sorry

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze

It means no worries for the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna--

It means no worries for the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!
(Repeats)

I say "Hakuna"

I say "Matata"

Patratzescu says:

2008-03-09T12:13:00.000-07:00

"Everything is energy" Einstein